No matter how much we try to downplay the depth of our torment, no matter how many times we deny it, no matter how deeply we bury it, no matter how many doors in which we lock it, these things do not just disappear. It’s like trying to quell an echo — no matter how many things you use to dampen it, it will never fully die… but we were not made to destroy darkness. We were not made for endings but for beginnings.
“In the beginning, God created [everything]… good,” says Genesis 1 in short. That’s how it all began before the fall. Did you know that the guilty three (Adam, Eve, and the serpent) were the first ones to rationalize. The first thing that Adam and Eve did (but the same is not said of the serpent, you will notice) is hide. They were ashamed of their state, but they didn’t want God to see them when they heard Him coming. When they finally met and explained that they hid because they were naked, He knew what had happened, but He asked anyway: “Have you eat from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” Instead of giving a straight answer, which would have been, “Yes,” they beat around the bush. They blamed each other. They refused to take personal responsibility despite the fact that bearing the image of God implies the ability to choose.
But they were just trying to protect themselves, right? True, but until then, they needed no protection. They were with God! Whom then did they have to fear? The serpent? No, because he was put under the dominion of man by the sovereignty of God. It was man who was to rule the serpent and later to crush his head (Jesus at His crucifixion and resurrection) — on a side note, what if Adam and Eve had crushed his head to begin with? — but that dominion was relinquished to an angel in the guise of an animal, which is ironic because scripture says that one day “we shall judge angels” (1 Corinthians 6:3).
But why would we try to protect ourselves if we weren’t guilty? — of course in our now-corrupt world, the worldly-innocent do have to protect themselves from those who let their evil escape, but that is a different topic altogether. Obviously we knew we deserved it, but being absorbed with the fear which comes with the knowledge of good and evil, we forgot that God warned us of the consequences of that knowledge to begin with, which means that He was trying to protect us! He never changes, so why would His love in any way be shattered by our finite actions?
This is a huge example of the way we try to rationalize our way out of painful things — really the most painful thing: guilt and separation from the Lord of all and the greatest friend that anyone can have (yes, you can have Him). The kicker is that it always works the same way, since we are now all guilty of wrongdoings (and yes, it is true), even if we are not the ones presently doing those wrong things or have done anything to directly or indirectly invoke these wrong things being done to us. We have and will all experience the sting of evil before, until, and when we die, and we will all try to make sense of them… but things don’t always have to make sense to be true. A baby that tries to eat his toes — don’t deny it, you have done it at some point, hehehe — well, it doesn’t really make much sense, but it happens! As they grow, they fail to assimilate the concept of “sharing,” even though they know that quantities are limited, and will continue to grow and realize that life is short and fleeting — so why horde it? — but even fully grown adults cannot grasp this simple principle! And all of these things blow back on others…
… But the problem with rationality is that it fails to deal with the reality that not everything that happens is rational! It cannot be diminished, destroyed, or dealt with using our rationality because its rationality is to diminish, destroy, and deal. You can’t fight fire with fire without feeding yourself to the same monster you say you want to escape, so what can we do?
Next: Rationality — Part 3: Defiance